Hangover 101

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Hangover 101

Let’s face it, there is no scientifically confirmed cure for a hangover, as much as we wish scientists were spending their time on figuring one out, it’ll probably be a long way off while there are more life-threatening diseases lurking around. But while there mightn’t be a cure as such, there are a few ways to lessen the blow the morning after and none of them involve sipping on ginger beer (though that would be the best solution of them all).


First up is pretty much a no-brainer. You’ve probably noticed that the time spent peeing seems to increase in ratio to the drinks consumed, and there’s a reason for this beyond your bladder simply running out of space. Alcohol is a diuretic, which essentially means it promotes the production of urine and in turn can make you incredibly dehydrated – that’s where water comes in. Whether you care to keep it up, one of the best ways to stay hydrated is to match every beer, or whatever your poison, with a glass of water. Boring we know, but you’ll be thanking us the morning after. Another tip is before going to bed drink a glass or two of water before hitting the pillow. There is no such thing as too much water in the land of avoiding a killer hangover.


Fancy a Hair of the Dog? Maybe a Bloody Hammer? Either way you’re putting more of the “bad stuff” into your system, which in turn can prolong and worsen the severity of your hangover. I’ve got no qualms with backing it up, but maybe wait until the p.m. and save the hangover cure cocktails for the movies.


Ahhhh the drunken Maccas feast, we’ve all been there. There’s actually nothing to really say that chowing down on greasy food after a big one does you any amount of harm, but it doesn’t specifically help either. Eating food afterwards is essentially best for those who have maybe lost a decent amount of their stomach contents, but the better food to feast on is something like toast and crackers that’ll help raise your blood sugar levels without upsetting your stomach.

The best time to eat is actually before heading out, that way your stomach is full and can handle the alcohol a little bit better than on an empty stomach. But if you’re a ‘deal-with-it-later’ kind of person there’s still help for you yet. Feast on a banana, kiwi or some spinach and the potassium in these bad boys will help replace the electrolytes lost the night before. Fancy an egg smoothie? Eggs are full of amino acids like taurine and cysteine, taurine of which helps boost liver function and prevent liver disease. Let’s both admit that your liver took quite the beating last night and could do with some TLC.


You’re lying in bed, head pounding and all you can think of is the distance it’ll take you to get from the bedroom to that packet of heaven: Panadol. While it may seem like the best idea when you’ve got a headache, it’s probably a good idea to avoid, that’s if you can handle the pain. If not opt for non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs aka aspirin, ibuprofen, and naproxen, and of course, follow the details on the packets kiddies. As for coffee, regardless of having a headache it’s a morning tradition and weakness for many the world over. Unfortunately for you, coffee is not your friend mid-hangover. In fact, caffeine actually acts as a diuretic, so the dehydrating affect will be similar to that of alcohol, which is what got you into this predicament in the first place. Coffee also makes the blood cells swell which can worsen a headache, not what you want. There mightn’t be the same satisfaction in drinking caffeine free options like herbal tea, juice or water, but your aching brain will thank you for it.


So the whole sweat it out theory is arguably a bit of a myth, the amount of alcohol that you will actually sweat out during exercise doesn’t really create any noticeable effect. What will help from exercise though are those friendly little endorphins as a result of running around for a while and the amount of calories you’ll burn off in the process – don’t forget, alcohol is basically made of calories. So for those of you using the morning after sex cure for a hangover, it ain’t doing anything it doesn’t normally do for you, but if you’re planning on keeping it up, perhaps keep this article far away from your partner/fuck buddy and “cure” that hangover like there’s no tomorrow.

Ultimately there’s a lot of things you should and shouldn’t do surrounding a big night, but where’s the fun in following a set of rules? The best thing to remember is to have a great time, while being safe (blah, I hate that I said), because ultimately the more fun you have the night before the less you’ll care about how bad the aftermath is. Though there’s nothing worse than being that person knees on the ground, head in the bowl, vomiting your brains out well before the night has really even started. You’ve got the info now on how to make things a bit easier for yourself, the rest is up to you. Enjoy O Week, don’t do anything Forte wouldn’t do.