In between the time it takes for the sun to rise and set, over 120 million acts of sexual intercourse have taken place. In a year, the average person has sex around 127 times a year, and yet when it comes to real conversations about the natural activity, the figures are surprisingly lower.
One person who has great figures on talking about sex is Professor Frances Quirk, who will do just that when she hits the stage for her session ‘Lets Talk About Sex’ as part of the Word for Word national non fiction festival.
“Talking about sex is pretty fundamental,” Frances adds with a laugh.
“If couples are going to argue about anything it’s money and sex.”
“Generally speaking we hardly talk about our own sexual functionality or sexual response with our close relationships. You don’t sit around the pub and say, ‘Wow, my genital arousal response is really not what it was, I don’t know what’s going on there. How about you, how’s yours?’
“We don’t have those conversations we’re not that open and part of it is we don’t understand.”
Working towards making the conversation all the more common and easier is just one part of the many roles Frances has undertaken, her biggest working with Viagra company, Pfizer, in the UK.
“I’m a behavioural, scientist, researcher and sexologist. I was in the UK until about 12 years ago working for a role with Pfizer, a pharmaceutical company, on the developments of Viagra,” she says.
“So I had about eight or nine years working in the areas of sexual dysfunction, sexual functionality and sexual quality of life. A lot of the work was with people who had sexual problems and exploratory, qualitative work talking about where sex fits. How much is having a good sex life a priority?”
Frances’ work soon shifted to work on the research surrounding the potential for Viagra to work for women, and she soon found that what came with it was a judgement for women and sex – something she is still helping to overcome.
“We have this view that women are passive, less interested and aren’t really the initiators of sexual activity. That’s the kind of attitude that doesn’t really help sexual discussion about the impact of disease or sexual intervention on women’s sexual functionality,” she says.
Part of Frances’ role was training sex professionals on the correct language when dealing with both men and women. Not using coy language like “down there” and sticking to the proper terms – which in turn helps empower the patient to have the discussion.
“Once you create the space for someone to talk about their sex life they almost invariably will just go ‘whoosh’ and tell you everything, because no one’s ever asked,” she says.
With her contributions to numerous international text books on diagnosing and accessing sexual function, her knowledge on the topic is vast and naturally she’s made a number of revelations over the years.
The biggest of which is that women are severely behind the eight ball when it comes to what’s available for men with sexual health. Viagra really opened the doors for discussions on sexual health with men and women are still waiting for the same opportunity.
“There’s a lot of conversation about sexual problems, human biology and sex education but there are some fundamental points nobody really shares,” she says.
“Things like, if you’re comfortable with your own body, the importance of sharing your body and how it works, the importance of feeling safe to say no – you’re in control of what happens for you – and placing a value on sexual intimacy rather than sex almost objectivity.”
Frances will be joined on stage with Rochelle Siemienowicz, Lee Kofman and Dr Michelle Smith and is open to see where the discussion goes.
“I think having us talk about something on stage that everyone does at some point in their life, whether that’s by themselves or with someone else, is sort of extraordinary really,” she says.
To see Frances in her session ‘Lets Talk About Sex’ on Saturday, September 12 visit the website to purchase tickets.
When & Where: Deakin University, Waterfront Campus – September 11-13