The Grinch of Geelong West

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The Grinch of Geelong West

I can’t be f*%ked with Christmas.

I don’t want to piss on your Christmas parade, but it just seems like a lot of hard work this year. It’s been a hectic and emotional 2019. I’ve faced some pretty heavy personal and professional challenges AND I’ve had to take on a hell of a lot of self-growth.

Growing up, Christmas was the time of year when the family would drive from the other side of town or fly in from the other side of the country. We’d eat our weight in pork crackling and read the bad jokes in the bonbons… Now if we want to catch up, we FaceTime from the couch from wherever we are in the world.

We would gather around the table to tell our grandparents about all the holidays we’ve taken since we last celebrated the festive season. We’d show our aunties photos of our new boyfriends, with the promise we’ll bring them to the next family gathering… Now we just scroll through Instagram to find out how everyone is spending the weekends.

We spent weeks window shopping for the perfect gifts. Game of Thrones box set, tick. Grace & Marie candles, tick tick. Botanicals By Luxe entire stock, HELLS YEAH, STUFF MY STOCKING! Then we’d spend nights watching Christmas carols while wrapping each present with precision. Dennis Walter would be singing ‘Little Drummer Boy’ as we wrap Nanna’s calendar. Humphrey B Bear would dance to ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’ while we’re placing Dad’s bottle of shiraz under the tree.

Now we just buy online vouchers because we don’t have time to take a lunch break. We let the vouchers we get expire:
‘It’s so much effort to drive to Melbourne to buy those new pair of leggings’.
‘I don’t want anything tangible because I’ve Marie Kondo’d the shit out of my wardrobe and I don’t want more STUFF’.
‘There are only so many blankets and books and Peter Alexander PJs a woman needs!’ (Jokes, we always need more Peter Alexander in our lives).

I want to explore the world, experience new crazy activities and consume delicious food at the newest restaurants. Basically, I’m selfish. But it’s my December too and I wanna spend it how I want. I want to spend my hard-earned cash on something that matters. I want to invest my time doing meaningful things. How about I take you to dinner at Alma instead? Or we test our relationship at Live Wire Lorne? That place is built on trust AND ropes.

There are some of you reading this who LOVE this time of year. Your Bublé album has been defrosting since October. You put your tree up in November and all your presents are sitting under the tinsel and baubles, wrapped in coordinated bows and name tags.

This year my gift to you is to do what makes you happy. This year I choose human connection, clocking off from expectation and surrounding myself with the stuff that fills my emotional cup.

Birthdays, however, I am all about. HIP HOP HOORAY B*TCHES!

Stampsy is ½ of K Rock’s Departure Lounge and K rock’s Music Director. Share your thoughts on Christmas with her on IG lee_stamps and FB StampsyKROCK.