Popped
Subscribe
X

Subscribe to Forte Magazine

Popped

ORLANDO TRAGEDY.

Fifty young lives tragically lost, and a further 53 seriously injured in a senseless attack on the LGBTQI community of Orlando, Florida. A gunman entered the Pulse nightclub and opened fire at around 2AM. For many of us, the world will never be the same again. This shooting is considered to be the worst in US history.

SNOW THA PRODUCT.
She’s coming to snatch wigs, that’s for sure! Mexican rapper Snow Tha Product is slowly but surely making a name for herself, and she might just be the chick to break Latin hip hop wide open. She has her own flavour, so Iggy and Nicki should welcome the newcomer with open arms. Maybe a collab or something!

ADELE 1, HATER 0.
A little-known producer recently suggested perhaps Adele wasn’t much of a vocalist, and relied on studio trickery to enhance her talents. Her response? An invitation to suck her d**k. I kid you not! If Adele wasn’t already an icon BEFORE this, she certainly is one now!

TRISHA YEARWOOD
Wowsers, who ever would have thought the country music superstar was a good enough cook to land her very own show on Food Network? She’s now right up there with Beverly Hills 90210’s Tiffani Amber Thiessen and fellow redneck cooking sensation Paula Deen!

X-FACTOR AUSTRALIA
It’s been revealed that none other than Aussie rapstress Iggy Azalea will be joining the judging panel in 2017. The show is immensely entertaining and a ratings bonanza, so the exposure will no doubt help Iggs out on home soil. Should be fun!

ZAYN MALIK PANIC ATTACK
Former boybander Zayn Malik (he was in One Direction, in case you somehow forgot!) pulled the plug on a sold out show at Wembley at the last minute after suffering a serious bout of self-doubt and panic. Fans were understandably upset, but forgiving.

JASON DERULO’S NEW DO
Isn’t really a good look. Have you seen it? He may be trying to emulate The Weeknd, perhaps, but it’s a tad Marge Simpson for my liking! The man is presently judging on So You Think You Can Dance.

MISSY ELLIOT SIGHTING!
The true Queen of hip hop was recently honoured at the Hip Hop Honours and I gotta say, she looked fantastic on the night. Her long awaited new album better drop soon, because these kids out there need someone to show them how it REALLY should be done.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES: ATLANTA
The rumours are true; Nene Leakes is heading back to the show as a full cast member when filming of the next season commences. Kim Fields, however, WON’T be returning for a second season. Because she’s boring. And probably wasn’t even INVITED back.

LADY GAGA RETURN IMMINENT
Not only has Elton John confirmed the material he’s heard from her upcoming new album is INCREDIBLE, it’s also been revealed that Mother Monster will undertake a Las Vegas residency in the very near future. Very, very interesting!

HOT

The Voice trainwreck.
Evil, evil fun, watching the clueless judges pick the wrong contestants to go through to the next round.

Comeback season.
Britney and X-tina both have new albums ready to drop, but are there audiences here for them?

Drake domination.
US number one single and album AGAIN. Nobody touchin’ Drizzy anytime soon!

Mariah Carey.
Don’t mess with us, we want that gospel album you’ve been teasing us about!

“Dirty Grandpa” jockstrap for sale.
I don’t care if Zac Efron wore it on the beach, it’s still dirty underwear! Almost a NOT!

NOT

Movie goers not shutting up.
Enjoy yourself, of course, but don’t carry on like a pork chop for the whole two hours!

Female MC wars.
There’s room for Iggy AND Nicki. Plus any other ladies willing to hustle. IJS.

Celebrity deaths.
Enough already. RIP Muhammed Ali. You won’t be alone up there.

Winter.
Not that we can complain about a season that acts the way it’s supposed to, I guess.

Written by Christopher Cruz