Fashion No-Nos

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Fashion No-Nos

I think it would be fair to say that some people might call me a fashion snob. I dislike trends, I describe my personal style as ‘classic’, and I exclusively wear black, grey, white, camel and khaki – with the exception of the occasional blue denim jean.

With that being said, I do think my very specific taste gives me an added ability, or sensitivity, to bad fashion manners and habits. Considering not everybody is as gifted (or burdened) with this ability as I am, I thought I could share with you some of the worst fashion faux pas I can think of.


With the exception of neutrals (camel and khaki included) there is nothing that has the ability to make me cringe more than seeing someone walking down the street in a top, that matches the pants, that matches the scarf, that matches the jumper, that matches the shoes, that matches the god damn nail polish.

Ladies and gentlemen, matchy-matchy is a big no-no. Let it go-go. We are no longer situated in the ’90s. Being eclectic is a good thing, embrace the thought of being a little mismatched.

Logo Girls

Let’s be realistic, what sane person is going to say no to a designer bag? I know I wouldn’t. However, it’s too often that I see brand names being worn to excess. I’m talking to you, lady who wears her Juicy Couture matching pant and hoodie with her fake Chanel bag, Nike runners, Adidas cap and Bali-bought Gucci sunnies out in public – all at once.

One very important word of advice, if you can’t buy the real thing, don’t buy something that’s fake that kind of looks like the real thing.

There are so many good quality, leather bags that are at the right price point for you if you look in the right places. You do not need to settle for bad quality, so please, stop with the knock offs.

Under-Butt Cleavage

Oh yes, you heard it here first, there is such a thing. I’m not sure if I’ve used the correct nouns, but if I have not, I’m making it a thing now. You know the look — short-shorts so short that you can see the underside of the butt, resulting in what looks like a cross between the underside of a boob (hence the cleavage) and a butt (hence the butt).

I wish I could say I’d only seen this on a woman, but I have not. Ladies – and GENTLEMEN – please cut it out. My eyes burn.

Leggings Are Not Pants

For the last time people. Seriously. No.

And there you have it — all my annoying, knit-picky fashion related things I personally cannot stand. 

Please forgive me for the rant, I just get so damn heated about these things! I am always one for self expression through clothing, but honestly, there’s no need for any of this. Especially the leggings. I’m not kidding. Stop it.

Written by Jessica Alves