An open letter to fashion designers…

Subscribe to Forte Magazine

An open letter to fashion designers…

This isn’t a rant of sorts, but more of a plea to think of your friendly giants when you’re busy designing clothes for the masses. For those who are above the national average of 5ft 7, you will know what I’m talking about when it comes to finding clothing items that will suit your giraffe limbs. For myself, just coming under 6ft. I’ve become resigned to not suiting trends – if only for the fact that there are some items of clothing that make me look like I’m squeezing into a child’s garment. This first world problem, is still a problem and one I hope could be rectified. If anything this article will just provide some entertainment for all my tall-ies out there.

1. ‘One size fits all’

For starters, this idea has always been dumb. Last time I checked, none of us lived in the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants where a magical pair of jeans could fit us all, and that applies to any garment – even socks. The only thing this could maybe apply to is waterproof ponchos, and even then for us tallies, it might keep our shoulders dry but anything from the waist down will still get wet. I don’t want to have to keep bringing out a tarp at every winter festival, so my advice for one size fits all is to cease and desist.

2. Jeans
I’ll admit jeans have come a long way in the fashion world for us tallies, but even still there is room for improvement. And before anyone says “but ASOS have a tall line!” I have checked it out and let me tell you – I’m tall, I’m not Gumby. I bought a pair of “tall jeans” and despite the crotch being so high that I could taste denim, I had an ‘ankle scrunch’ up to my knees. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, there just needs to be a few tweaks… like cutting off that extra yard of denim.

3. The ‘crop’ fashion

Crops are so cute, and I side-eye everyone below 5’8 with a crop on and shake a jealous fist of ‘damn you’ their way. Crop jumpers and tops on the average Joe drop perfectly across the waist. Crops on me however, either sit just under my boobs or if I get them four sizes bigger, fall awkwardly above my hips accentuating parts I’d rather not accentuate. There are days when I fall to my knees, look up to the stormy skies and cry, ‘When will I find a crop that fits my abnormally long torso!’ *Drama added for entertainment purposes.

4. Playsuits and Onesies

[kam-uh  l-toh] 

Need I say more? These very cute garments are soul crushing to the tall people out there, because I am yet to find one that a) doesn’t hug something that doesn’t want to be hugged or b) doesn’t have a crotch that hangs awkwardly halfway down my thighs. There is no in-between. So relish in that average and short people relish in the power that you have of being able to wear a really cute playsuit. But don’t despair tall people, we can go to the toilet drunk and not have to worry about accidentally peeing ourselves… That’s a highlight right?

Signing off,

The BFG.