25th October, 2015, a date which will live in infamy. As has been widely publicised, Sideshow Bob has finally achieved his long-running wish of killing Bart Simpson.
Unfortunately, as with most things that have 24 years of anticipation behind them, the end result was a bit of a let-down. The segment focussed heavily on gore, had a few decent jokes, and a few that missed the mark. At its best it was a take it or leave it episode that you won’t be missing out on by not having seen. At its worst, it was painfully and uncomfortably cruel, which felt jarring when trying to switch to joking around. The real shame is that it didn’t have to be this way…
Before I get on to an astounding act of hubris and tell you all what I think the writers should have, or could have done better, I’ll whiz through the episode for those who can’t see it. Spoilers – Spoilers – Spoilers!
Seriously, stop reading if you plan to watch it because I’m about to ruin it for you.
Have you stopped?
Good.
The segment kicks off with Bart at school running a betting syndicate on how many spins it will take Wendell to throw up on the merry-go-round. After a little bit of gross-out humour, he receives a text message from Milhouse to head to the music room when Largo has gotten himself stuck in a harp. But, it’s all a ruse! Enter Sideshow Bob. Approximately 30 seconds later, Bart has been shot with a spear-gun. I get what the writers were aiming for here. A: It’s widely known that Bob will kill Bart, so why bother with suspense, and B: it looks for the funny by subverting the typical elaborate Bond villain style set-up. It’s an idea that might look good on paper, but on screen it falls flat. Bob sings a little, harvests some organs, and takes Bart home. He uses his body in all manner of ways before moving on with his life by taking a role as a college professor. He then soon realises his life is empty without his nemesis (as Heath Ledger’s Joker points out in The Dark Knight “You complete me”.) Bob sets about sciencing Bart back to life through reanimiation, just so he can kill him again and again and again, before ultimately getting his comeuppance.
For mine, the segment played out like an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, with an awful lot of violence for the sake of violence. The biggest problem was in watching Bart get slaughtered over and over, we were watching an innocent victim get repeatedly killed. There’s not much fun in that. Let’s not forget that as much as Bob hates Bart, Bart has only ever been the good guy in their episodes thwarting Bob’s plan. You know that gag in Family Guy where Elmer Fudd kills Bugs Bunny and it’s the most painful thing in the world to watch? This is that, for six minutes.
Now, I don’t like to criticise if I can’t think of a way to do things better, so here is my take on a few simple tweaks that would have taken the segment to the levels it deserved.
1. Make Bart deserve it.
First up – our victim needs to have a reason to be a victim beyond Bob’s hatred. The audience needs to see why Bob is out to kill him this time, and perhaps even side with him. So, let’s take our gag from the first act of Wendell on the merry-go-round and twist it a little. Bob has genuinely made good and is running a stall selling wedding cakes. He is showing off his pride and joy and about to close a deal that would take his business to the next level. Just as he is about to sign a contract, Wendell is about to spew. He runs around looking for options, when Bart (the instigator of it all, remember) grabs him and directs him to Bob’s stall. Wendell throws up all over the cakes, all over Bob, all over the contract and all over the buyers. Bob’s business is ruined; his life as he sees it is ruined; and we know as much as Bob that Bart is to blame.
2. Shift the death to the second act
As I said, I understood why they got it out of the way early, but it was lazy and robbed us of really getting into the moment. Any good movie based on a true story will tell you that knowing the ending doesn’t mean you won’t feel the tension. Plus, elaborate villain schemes are exactly why we love elaborate villains. So, Bob, overcome with rage, tells Bart he’ll rue this day and disappears. Bart thinks nothing of it, is unrepentant, and laughs in Bob’s face. Bob sets to work on his masterpiece. Now when he lures Bart, there is a genuine sense of build-up and tension. The jokes pay off big as we laugh for a release. Even though we know the outcome, our brain starts to trick us as we see the familiar tropes (vat of acid, death traps etc) that maybe Bart will get away with it after all.
3. Make the death more memorable
There was a very funny call-back to Cape Feare’s rake scene in this episode, but it could have been used to better effect. After Bart has escaped all of Bob’s elaborate traps, he is running out the door, turns to say “So long, Bob!” when BANG! A rake handle flies up, only this one has a spike fixed to it, and impales Bart. He lets out that familiar shudder of Bob’s before dying.
The rest of the episode can pretty well play out the same, albeit in a condensed format. The effort Bob went to in order to kill him will add gravity and pathos to Bob realising that it was, in fact, the last thing he really wanted in life. After reanimating Bart, we cut back on the number of times he then kills him again for time, and to maintain each murder’s impact. Now that the episode is a bit more balanced, these murders can be played out as straight horror and torture, and wrestle sympathy back to Bart. The ending remains untouched, but now carries a heavier sense of irony.
Anyway, that’s my take.
Written by Mitch Grinter
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