We know Ron Funches isn’t a rat. That is quite obvious. We also know rats weren’t purchasing tickets to Ron’s comedy gig. They have a life time membership to any gig they want. A tiny bar where shot glasses are pints. An unlimited supply of Bertie Beetle showbags to dine on. More on that another day. What we may not know is that when rats play, they giggle. We just can’t hear it. So when Ron is up on stage applying his craft and we see him giggling, it would be remiss of us to ignore the possibility that he is in actuality, a rat. Alas, Ron is not a rat and comedy fans everywhere are fortunate for that.
On his first Australian tour, the laid back comedian weaves a story with his unique voice. Delving deep into the plethora of jokes from his perspicacious observations. He is genuinely happy when a joke lands that he was unsure about.
Ron’s favourite phrase is higgledy-piggledy. This doesn’t interfere with his natural ability to engage with the audience. His favourite person on TV is Mary Berry from the Great British Bake-Off which brings Ron to his thoughts on the ridiculous snack we eat here, Shapes. We’ve all devoured a box whilst drinking a two litre bottle of apple and guava juice. Right? Right. He loves our Seinfeld themed restaurant, George’s. He doesn’t know why, but he loves that.
At twenty, Ron was married and had a child. He completed that marriage by the age of twenty seven. When it is possible, he brings his autistic son on tour with him. He absolutely adores him. Even when his son sits around the hotel room, disrobed, eating pizza with extra hot cheesy sauce and refuses to cover up, he adores him. Ron just can’t help but giggle when he advises his son to cover up time and time again and the extra hot cheesy sauce drips from the pizza, straight onto his, give us a minute. The extra hot cheesy sauce missed the twig and lands directly onto his sons berries. It could be some time before they eat pizza again. Ron’s friend Gabe who was with them, may never see another slice.
Wrestling is a love of Ron’s and with Dwayne ‘THE ROCK’ Johnson on his mind, he elaborates about his future. He may have been at his best portraying Jack Bruno in ‘Race To Witch Mountain’ but if The Rock can somehow manage to forgo his promising acting career, Ron firmly believes he can be the next President of the U.S.A. It may seem a bit higgledy-piggledy to most, but as Ron casually walks around the stage taking a sip of lemon infused water, the belief in the room grows.
Ron loves seeing the expression on the Uber driver when they see his house and as he walks in to play video games, his Mum exits the pool house. Main house privileges aren’t forthcoming any time soon. Worry not, she can visit occasionally. Ron is thirty six.
This is the bubbly, talented comedian Ron Funches. If you were unable to see him this tour, write his name down on the back of your next pizza box. Just be careful you don’t lose his name with the extra cheesy hot sauce.
The Comic’s Lounge, Melbourne – Thursday April 18
As part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival
Written by Sam Young
Photo by Rebecca Pimm