Sometimes, I feel SO under-qualified to be doing what I am doing… Caring, blogging, being in front of the camera, having the audacity to re-launch the blog with an entire event, you name it. I feel under-qualified.
I mean, who the hell do I think I am?! I’m no nurse or journalist. I never did any TV school training, heck I was a vocal coach when I went into a full-time carers role for Dad. Now if that’s not being thrown in the deep end, I don’t know what is! Talk about having to learn a whole new language!
And that’s just things I’m under-qualified for… that doesn’t account for the fact I have to work every day to have good mental health. That my anxiety sometimes is so bad I struggle to do simple day to day tasks. That sometimes I drink too much and do that not so cute self-sabotaging thing… (not ideal). But then I read quotes like this and I am reminded that as much as that may be true, it doesn’t discount me.
“I am allowed to be BOTH a work in progress AND help others grow at the same time. I refuse to wait until I believe I’m perfect or someone else has deemed me worthy of importing others…”
It’s these reminders that make me realise that it is so important to acknowledge that all those “Hot Mess” things about me may be true, but I still need to get on with the job at hand the best I can. Running in my lane, at my pace.
One of the reasons I wanted to start This Hot Mess was because I often felt like I only saw “perfect” ” “type A” personality women talking about how they found success and achieved their dreams. And don’t get me wrong, I am SO happy for those women, I mean YES QUEEN! Get your dream life! But it often made me feel isolated and undeserving of the dreams in my heart because I wasn’t like those women. There was such a gap between them and I that I assumed that meant I wasn’t able to achieve my version of success because I didn’t have their capacity or stamina. My mental health often doesn’t let me run at the pace or cope with the stress that is expected of the people I was seeing follow their dreams.
But something I’ve learned in the last few years is that that actually doesn’t matter. When you’re running in your own lane, you can be a blessing to others whilst not being perfect. When you choose to work at the pace that suits you, you can find ways to take steps towards your dreams without causing burn out. It may not be at the pace of a future CEO, but it’s still stepping forward!
So this week, regardless of your flaws, problems, self-sabotaging habits or failures, I want you to follow your fucking gut, chase your dreams and help positively change your slice of the world. Because the world needs you. Desperately. Hot Mess traits and all…
After all, if I let mine get in the way I wouldn’t be writing to you now, encouraging you to live your best life. So really, who gives a fuck. Go get em’ tiger!
All my love,