It’s not hard to be a good friend. In fact, it’s safe to say that by default, most people are “good” friends because we often want to be good to the people we love.
But sometimes when “life” changes, insecurity rears its head or we react without thinking, we can actually – without meaning too – be a bit of a shitty friend. Friendships are like most things in the way that if we aren’t intentional with them, they won’t get the best from us.
So, here are two ways I’ve learned to try and be not just a “good” friend (because most people can do that), but be EPIC friend.
Put “love” in the gap.
Sometimes, there is a gap between our expectation of what a friend will do, say or act, and how they actually behave, and I’ve learned that there are a few things people can unintentionally put in that gap. Often it can be things like anger, judgement of character, or our own insecurities. Next time a friend says or does something that seems out of character or isn’t what you expect, choose to put love in the gap. Choose to believe the best of them; choose to assume they didn’t mean it that way or perhaps there is more to the story. When you choose love instead of negative judgement, you instantly become an epic friend and I promise it will save a bucket load of unnecessary heartache you will never regret it.
Communication over bitterness.
The other thing you can do to take your friend skills from good to epic is to choose communication instead of bitterness. With any long-term friendship, there are going to be times you disagree or hurt each other, whether it’s intentional or not. So when that sadly but inevitably happens, choose to talk to your friend about it rather than saying quiet, assuming the worst and getting internally bitter. It’s a very fast way to ruin a friendship and also let the worst of your mind run away with itself. So just choose to bring it up and have the difficult conversation. I know it’s hard, I know it’s uncomfortable, but my god it’s just so bloody necessary if you want to keep your friend for the long haul.
I hope this has helped Forte crew! Learning these lessons has been a game-changer for how I do friendships and I know I’ve been able to keep some pretty amazing people around because I chose to live by these rules. So I hope they’re as helpful to you as they have been for me.
Sending my love as always!
Have an epic fortnight!
Follow Kim’s blog @thishotmessau