SEXPO… Go on, you know you want to.
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30.11.2017

SEXPO… Go on, you know you want to.

Walking into SEXPO I had no idea what to expect. I’ve been to my fair share of events, and each one surprises me in some way or another, so to be honest, I was a little afraid about what I may encounter at this event in particular. Especially considering my press pass had already re-named me as ‘Rimnaldo’. Cheeky SEXPO, very cheeky.

Upon entering the expo, any fears I had immediately vanished and I was welcomed into a humbling and warm room filled with people – just everyday people, like me, like you. Yes, there were a few girls walking around in garters and stripper heels, and a few topless firefighters, but there were also groups of young teenagers, countless young couples and even people equivalent to my parents age, from the completely vanilla types to the kinkiest ones too. SEXPO is legitimately for everyone.

But of course, what would SEXPO be without the nudity. Within minutes of arriving, it seems my timing was impeccable to ensure I caught Miss Nude World 2015’s stage show. Performing a Mad Max show complete with an Aerial Cube and a wet sponge, Isabelle Deltore captured the attention of the entire crowd as she, well, got nude. I was impressed with her confidence as she danced and moved graciously around the stage floor while absolutely starkers. You go girl.

The nudity didn’t stop there of course. Just metres away from leaving the stage area, we were met with a dick. Pricasso’s to be more exact – the artist known world-wide for his ability to produce reasonably priced and surprisingly good portraits with just his penis and paint. Again, very impressive.

Coming from years’ experience in customer service, I was also rather impressed with the actual service of the staff running the stalls. They were all so friendly and professional as they encouraged attendees to sniff, taste or fondle the new ridiculous (but let’s be real, awesome) products on offer – even whilst standing in front of thousands with leather hugging all parts of their body.

A big part of SEXPO is education, featuring a number of health and wellness seminars with sexologists, sex therapists and sex educators, along with two educational and intriguing art exhibitions. The Madison Missina’s ‘Raw’ exhibition depicts female sexuality in different forms, while The Body Beautiful exhibition is comprised of photos sent in by SEXPO patrons communicating how diverse and beautiful our human bodies are, diminishing the ridiculous idea of ‘normal’.

Of course, the best part of the whole experience was the JO Stand… for the free ice cream of course. The stand was pushing their flavoured lubricants (chocolate, strawberry, watermelon, crème brulee, you name it) and in turn were giving away free soft serve with flavoured lube as a topping. Yep, that happened, but I’ll admit it was actually really nice. FYI these are available at Fantasy Lane on Ryrie Street if you’re interested.

Refusing to leave SEXPO without making a purchase, I’ll admit I played it safe and headed to the lolly stall where I settled on X-Rated Valentine Hearts and a tingly lip balm. Vanilla, I know but my mum could be reading this…

Nothing is taboo here. It actually provides a breath of fresh air, and ultimately just like the sex world, anything goes. From a Game of ‘Bones’ throne, a ‘Shafter’ ride (which if you are interested was a giant, simulated penis), Swarovski butt plugs to an entire store devoted to fluffy handcuffs, a Donald Chump and Horny Hillary love doll and Ron Jeremy walking around playing a harmonica, SEXPO covered it all. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you’d be mad not to try it at least once.

Where: Exhibition Centre, Melbourne
When: November 16, 17, 18 & 19 2017
Reviewed by Talia Rinaldo