Welcome to THTH, Forte’s premier source of all things heavy, hard, fast and metal.
If you’re like me and you spend time checking ALL the metal websites, you’ll probably have seen an update about the new Tool album where the update is Tool won’t release an album this year (neither will A Perfect Circle, apparently).
And quite frankly, I’m sick of the “yes there’ll be a new Tool album, no there won’t be a new Tool album” back and forth click-bait shit. But I’m quite possibly the biggest sucker for Tool click-bait ever and I don’t even know why because I can’t remember the last time I listened to a Tool album in its entirety. Even writing about Tool is annoying me and thinking of you reading about Tool is annoying me even more.
So, I have a proposal. For all of us out there sick of waiting for a new Tool album, sick of the click-bait, sick of the daily thoughts about a new Tool album and the daily questioning of what a new Tool album may sound like. My proposal is that when the new tool album drops, we all ignore the absolute shit out of it for like, six years – minimum. Tool have fucked us all over, so let us all fuck them over back and ignore their new album when it finally lands. Don’t tell anyone, don’t listen to it, don’t buy it, don’t download it illegally, hell, don’t even upload it for other people to download illegally, don’t see them live, don’t buy their merch. Then, six years after the new album has dropped we pay any attention to Tool or their new, six year old album. It’s what Tool would want. Also, if you really want to see Tool live, see the next best thing – Third Eye at Ballarat’s Karova Lounge on Saturday August 26. This is the last time you’ll ever see me write about Tool, forever, or maybe I’ll review their album six years after it is released.
In other news
Below will release their new album Upon A Pale Horse on Friday May 19.
Dragonforce will release their new album Reaching Into Infinity on Friday May 19 and the band will play 170 Russell on Wednesday June 21.
Devin Townsend Project will return to Oz and play Melbourne’s 170 Russell on Wednesday May 24 which is sold out, but a second show has been announced at the same venue for Tuesday May 23.
Solstafir will release their new album Berdreyminn on Friday May 26.
Winter’s Eve 2017 featuring Holy Serpent, El Colosso, Agonhymn, Merchant and many others will be at The Eastern in Ballarat on Saturday May 27. A portion of the door charge will be donated to the local soup bus.
Sikth will release their new album The Future In Whose Eyes? on Friday June 2.
Anathema will release their new album The Optimist on Friday June 9.
Entrails will release their new album World Enferno on Friday June 16.
Igorrr will release their new album Savage Sinusoid on Friday June 16.
Goatwhore will release their new album Vengeful Ascension on Friday June 23.
Primordial will play Melbourne’s Max Watts on Friday July 7.
Tool tribute band Third Eye will be at Ballarat’s Karova Lounge on Saturday August 26.
Anathema will play 170 Russell on Wednesday December 6.
If you have any news about local metal bands, shows or albums, let THTH know by emailing to firstname.lastname@example.org or get in touch via Twitter at @TooHeavyToHug
Paul S Taylor