The Splinters Mixtape [#588]

KYLIE SAYS ‘CRYSTALLIZE’
Kylie Minogue’s latest album, Kiss Me Once, is a bitter pill to swallow. The first album under the new management of Jay-Z’s RocNation is not exactly her greatest (and, in very fact, might just be her least favourable ever) and after hearing news a ‘Dance Kylie’ style album was recorded, then shelved, which was allegedly then followed by an ‘Indie Kylie’ style album being recorded, which too was also shelved, what has apparently happened here is the two sounds we most wanted Kylie to be doing were ditched for a collection of bad judgement calls and terrible “executive producing” on Sia’s part.
Thankfully, something in the ‘Dance Kylie’ spirit has seen the light of day in the form of brilliant new single ‘Crystallize’. The song, which is being released as a charity single for cancer research, is a glittering electro-ballad. You know the kind, that ‘crying on the dance floor’ sound Kylie’s so darn good at. Stylistically it follows a similar sound-print to another of her classic singles, ‘The One’, but this is in no way a bad thing. In fact, ‘Crystallize’ is better than the entirety of LP Kiss Me Once, and is exactly the kind of damage control she should be doing.

LADY GAGA vs URSULA THE SEA WITCH
In an unexpected turn of events, Lady Gaga had to postpone a Vancouver and Seattle date on her ArtRave: The ARTPOP Ball world tour last week after a serious case of bronchitis took its toll on the warbler’s voice. Taking to social media, Gaga proclaimed her voice had been stolen by Ursula the Sea Witch from Disney’s The Little Mermaid, but Splinters is more interested in knowing whether or not Gaga’s new puppy – Asia, the BatPig – is being kept in quarantine until the singer is at full health again. Somebody, please think of the puppy!
In all seriousness, though, the cute BatPig has taken social media by storm and has already garnered a number of parody accounts through all the regular internet platforms. At time of print, Gaga herself was back on stage and performing her guts out on the ArtRave tour which is due to arrive in Australia mid-August. On a personal note, I hope Gags gets better and is basically at full health already, particularly so as I will be meeting and greeting with the Lady herself come August 24th! Regular readers will remember I was the first Australian writer to interview Lady Gaga, and later on in 2008, shortly after I conducted that interview with her, I got to meet her as well. It’s been a long road since 2008 and a lot has changed in that time period, which definitely includes, for example, how intense my love for her has grown in these last six years. So to say I am excited is a fucking understatement.
The ArtRave tour is already set in stone as my absolute definitive Event of the Year. One I am sure you will hear me discuss further in the countdown to the gig!
Lady Gaga’s phenomenal ArtRave: The ARTPOP Ball world tour is coming to Melbourne and they’ve just announced a second show after the first finally sold out last week. This is a tour that is believed to be smaller date-wise than her next, so this could very well be something you won’t be able to just watch on DVD later on – it may face the same fate as the incredible ‘Born This Way Ball’ and never actually see a video release date surface for it.
Rumour has it that Gaga is already planning her new album and wants to tour that with a longer, larger than life tour. Fact or Fiction? Regardless, y’all should really go and get tickets for the show, especially if you were once a fan but are no longer. The footage I’ve seen of the show is so good that I strongly believe it would bring back a few of you haters.

2014 COMEBACKS
It’s turning out to be the year of the comeback with an array of pop stars coming out of the proverbial woodwork and releasing music for the first time in years. Both Coldplay and Mariah Carey have new albums out and the latter, the hilariously titled Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse, is a return to form and will have its own review space in the coming issues of Splinters.
There’s also the excellent new Michael Jackson album Xscape, comprised of eight reworked demo tracks from the MJ vaults which go as far back as 1983, and La Roux are back in a big way with the incredibly long-awaited follow-up to their debut album on the horizon, with first singles ‘Let Me Down Gently’ and ‘Uptight Downtown’ already causing an excited stir on the internet. And there’s still new stuff from Madonna, Marina & The Diamonds, Adele and Roisin Murphy to come in 2014, making sure this will indeed be one of the best years to consume the Pop Album.
Written by Adem Ali