Too Heavy To Hug [#581]

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In case you didn’t hear, Joey Jordison has left Slipknot. Shortly after the departure a statement was released suggesting he decided to leave. Then I saw a lead for an article stating Joey didn’t decide to leave. Intriguing…
So, in a world first Forte exclusive, THTH will continue to dissect the goings-on behind the scenes in the Slipknot camp in the only way we know how: speculation. This is THTH’s Holiday Joey Departs Slipknot Fanfic.
Part V
A couple of days later, Monte and Slipknot met up again at the New York rehearsal space. Monte clutched an exercise book that was adorned with Slipknot stickers. The guys sat in the rehearsal room. Monte opened his exercise book; the first few pages he flicked through were grey lead sketches of the members of Slipknot and their masks.
‘I just needed some inspiration to write some lyrics,’ Monte explained after seeing the looks on their faces. ‘Here’s an idea, how about a song called Die All’. It goes like this.’ He began, then cleared his throat and continued, ‘When this world is f*cked up, and you’re f*cked up, you’ve sucked up and up and lucked out and out, all you wanna do is shout die all…,’ his singing voice a poor effort to sound like Corey; and the last two words were growled, also poorly.
The guys looked at each other, then back at Monte.
‘Wow, that shit is wicked. It’s exactly the sort of shit we’d do,’ Sid said.
Monte smiled, his confidence boosted exponentially.
‘No, wait,’ Corey began, ‘it’s not what we’re after at all. It might have been a draft to an idea we probably would never have used in early days, but it’s not really what we’re after.’
‘Yeah, we’re more existential now, not so much angry,’ Shawn chimed in.
‘Are you all stupid?’ Joey yelled, his booming voice filling the rehearsal room. ‘This guy is a total jerk. His lyrics are shit. His bass skills are shit – probably. He’s a dickhead and it’s no surprise he lost his job. I don’t like him. I know none of us like him…’
‘…I like him…,’ Sid interrupted.
‘…and I don’t know why we’re wasting our time here,’ Joey finished.
‘You’re right, Joey,’ Monte began, looking down at the ground with his confidence gone. ‘I just thought we were all friends and don’t friends help each other out? Kinda like Bob Rock helped out Metallica…’
‘Here he goes again with Bob Rock,’ Joey said, then yelled, ‘Monte, you’re not Bob Rock. You’re not even Monte Rock, because you don’t rock!’
Silence filled the room; Monte now deflated more than ever. After a few minutes of silence Monte stood up and declared, ‘I’m going to be in this band and we all know it. If all you didn’t want me here then you wouldn’t have come and you all wouldn’t keep meeting me like this. I know you all know this deep down. I just need to figure out what it is I can do. I used to play drums when I was younger, or maybe I could do percussion and Shawn you could go on bass, but hey, these are just ideas.’
After that Monte left the room, with Slipknot left to consider their position.
To be concluded…
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Writen by Paul S Taylor